Journal+2+-+Sneeze

Achoo!

__Topic 1: Bacon__



The year is 2000. The age is 5. I awoke from my deep slumber due to the heavenly aroma in the air that was strangling my nose with the smell of awesomeness. Much like a sleepwalking person (from a movie I can't think of) walks to the smell of pie without thinking, I stumbled out of bed and walked downstairs like an intoxicated zombie. My goal was the magnificent smell that grasped my whole body. As I got made my presence in the kitchen, my father pulled a tray dripping with exotic grease from the microwave. What was this object covered by the paper greasy paper towel? Being quite the investigative 5 year old, I asked, plopping myself in my kitchen chair simultaneously. My dad replied, "It's bacon, want some?" Now what happened was quite predictable. Of course, I took a piece. My tongue melted. My tastebuds blew up and did a funky disco dance, because for the first time in their life, they were fully alive. After tasting this bacon, I died and went to heaven, but was sent back to finish the bacon. So one piece turned to two, two to three, three to four thousand eight hundred seventy three. People say that I'm obsessed with bacon. Well of course I am, anyone with a vivid memory of the first time they ate bacon is obviously obsessed with bacon. Bacon is hunky dory and I will always love it, even if Trent hates it, and even if Kieran is a vegetarian. I also got a bacon wallet because my cousins in Ohio know of my love for bacon. My cousin Erin was going to get me a bacon wallet, but it somehow ended up going to my cousin Patrick for some reason. Even though she didn't get me the wallet, she gave me the idea for the bacon wallet. So for Christmas I showed my bacon wallet on the computer to my mom and dad and they ordered it for me for only $9.95. What a steal!